The Safest Way to Live as a Woman Is to Be Dead

We live in a world designed to erase the existence of women.

First, they will tell you that you’re too “revealing”. That the sight of your skin brings their “innate nature” alive. You are now responsible for their bad intentions. They say the only way is to cover up.

Now you go out without revealing any skin. You try your best to cover what you can. They won’t know how you look like underneath, right? Suddenly you’re “mysterious”. They become curious of you. You are now responsible for their bad intentions. They say the only way is to stay at home.

You’ve decided that the world out there is dangerous, so you will only stay in the comfort of your own home. You’re definitely safe here, right? News of domestic violence, intrusion and rape… the list goes on. Even the people you trusted are abusing you.

Translation: Dear women, be careful when uploading your photos online. In this tweet, I will attach some pages that steal and upload photos of women onto their porn pages.

I had the misfortune of reading someone write a tweet warning women about men who use their modest photos as “fap fodder” and he spent the rest of his Twitter thread blaming women.

Apparently, it’s a woman’s fault for thinking she partake in the Internet. It’s her fault for thinking that she can be on social media.

It’s totally not the fault of the man with the twisted mind, who tries to carve out the body of a woman through his screen, and fantasises about her in his head while he pleasures himself. His lack of self-control is my fault.

Translation: “Yes, men are difficult to teach. They can be evil even after leaving prison. That’s why women have to be careful. Men are predators, women are prey. Women need to seek protection from other predators to make sure they don’t fall prey.”

The same man went on to say that women can never be capable of building civilisation and are better off staying in a cave.

Patriarchy is a system designed to erase the existence of women and dehumanise them into mere commodities.

We are to be used and discarded according to their convenience. We don’t deserve an ounce of respect if we do not serve their purpose. Sometimes, we don’t get respect even if we served our purpose for them.

Evil men will always make excuses for evil men because they know if they had half the courage or power to inflict harm as predators do, they would probably do the same thing. They get annoyed when people strive for equality and justice, because “crime will always happen”. They’re comfortable with the status quo because it favours them and they are less likely to be harmed for being a man.

That’s why whenever a man tries to tell you hiding from the world is the safest way to live as a woman, your flick him off and do what you want. How much longer do we have to live that way only because they said so?

I vehemently refuse to allow our sons and daughters to be raised in such a mundane, cruel world. It’s not a “men’s world” anymore.

Singapore-bred Malaysian who enjoys sharing her too honest thoughts on life, feminism, love, and religion among other things. www.shafiqahothman.com

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