Singapore-bred Malaysian who enjoys sharing her too honest thoughts on life, feminism, love, and religion among other things. www.shafiqahothman.com

I hope you change your mind when you finish reading this.

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Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

It’s happened to most of us. Someone hurts us in ways we never thought they would, and we want to know why.

Why did you do that to me?

Am I not important to you?

Is there a chance that things could go back to the way it was?

Why won’t you talk to me?

We stay up countless sleepless nights thinking about it. And then one 3 AM morning, we send that text, toss the phone aside, and try to fall asleep. Would we regret the choices we made? That’s a problem for tomorrow me. …


When Malaysians come back from scholarships overseas to fight for equal access to education for all Malaysians, are they “burning the bridge” that helped them? That’s what the tweet below seems to think.

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Translation: Get a MARA scholarship, study overseas. After graduation: “Now it’s time to dismantle race-based institutions.” You used the bridge, now you’re trying to burn it so other people can’t use it. They stay elite.

Ironically, “burning the bridge” sounds like something elitist Malay-Muslims would do instead. That is why I have seen people saying that non-Bumiputeras should be thankful they were given bare minimum education because the Malays could choose to not shut off access to education for them entirely, but didn’t.

People who study overseas and choose to come back to Malaysia do it because they have an attachment to…


We live in a world designed to erase the existence of women.

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Photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash

First, they will tell you that you’re too “revealing”. That the sight of your skin brings their “innate nature” alive. You are now responsible for their bad intentions. They say the only way is to cover up.

Now you go out without revealing any skin. You try your best to cover what you can. They won’t know how you look like underneath, right? Suddenly you’re “mysterious”. They become curious of you. You are now responsible for their bad intentions. They say the only way is to stay at home.

You’ve decided that the world out there is dangerous, so you…


Testimony from an ex-anti of all things Korean Pop.

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Photo from Soompi.

If you told me 2 years ago (yes, only 2 years ago!) that today, I will be a K-Pop fan, I’d probably flick you off. I’m not even exaggerating. I used to hate K-Pop. This deep-rooted hatred stemmed from being annoyed at how it flooded my social media feeds, the television screen, and billboards. Radios would frequently play K-pop songs as well.

I never understood the hype… Until I did.

My ‘anti’ phase is not something that I am proud of, and I’m a bit embarrassed that it took meeting my husband for me to realise how big of a…


As a mother, one of the questions I hate hearing is, “Why would you choose career over being a mother?” Let’s try turn this question around. Why would a man choose his career over being a father? Why don’t men just stay at home and leave the working to the woman?

Imagine being a parent that was forced to stay home solely to take care of the home and kids? Before you fall asleep, what do you think of? What do you dream of? As any person would, you’d do whatever within your capabilities to achieve that dream. Why do…


We are already trying our best.

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Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash

Trigger Warning: this article contains discussions of rape that may not be suitable for all readers. Your mental health comes first. Fearless community, please read with care.

Recently, a “dai” (religious figure) was exposed for his manipulative ways of sleeping with innocent, unsuspecting women by luring them to his house.

Earlier this year, an ex-friend was outed as a sexual assailant. Needless to say, the character assassination against him was brutal. No one blamed the victims. In fact, many danced over the trauma of his victims because they didn’t like him. …


A little look at what my husband uses his smartphone for. And no, it’s not social media.

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Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

Don’t you feel it’s almost impossible to find someone who does not use social media? In 2020, the number of people using social media is over 3.81 billion globally, with the average user having 8.6 accounts on different networking sites. That’s a lot.

Social media has turned into a way for us to connect with people online, create new friendships, post content, and share our thoughts. Because nearly everything needs registration these days, I usually refer to inactive online activity as not having social media.

Last night I posted this on Twitter. Surprisingly, a lot of the replies were saying…


You think I toned down? No honey, you got me all wrong.

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

A few months ago, I wrote a Medium article addressing the people who called me a hypocrite for being a feminist that loves my husband because, “Ha-ha, the joke’s on you, you married a maaaaan.”

Even though it’s been a few months, apparently many people still think I am “less of a feminist” because I said it is up to the woman if she wants to be a homemaker and housewife. People were taken aback because they assumed that I would just fight mindlessly against gender roles. This just goes to show that they’ve never understood the core of feminism…


Understanding the motivations behind the behaviour of unpleasant people

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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Yesterday, someone commented on my story about my childbirth journey. She made a condescending remark about my need for an epidural, saying that I must have a low tolerance for pain.

She also said that the shouting and “performance” women do during labour are overrated.

In the beginning, I took this with a light heart. I replied to her saying it must be nice to have a high tolerance for pain and that I’m just glad that my baby and I are well and healthy. I was sincere.

I logged off for a while for breakfast, only to come back…

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